[Regarding a romantic liaison with his aunt the previous night]
"What do I remember?" -- Edward
"Sand in your pants." -- Breann
"And you know it takes months to get that stuff out." -- GM
"She [Fiona] doesn't mind what you put in her mouth when she's in a coma." -- Breann
"Does he [Daven] go crazy when he sees the pocket rocket?" -- Breann
"No, Breann's the only one childish enough to think that thing is cool." -- GM,
who doesn't like the pocket rocket.
[On how to speed up the game]
"You just have to have fewer sex scenes." -- Dave
"I don't have enough!" -- GM
"I agree!" -- Megan
[recorded by Dave]
GM: You think this guy with the Jewel of Judgment in his eye socket doesn't know if it's his kid?
[Calling Margie downstairs from computer research]
GM: Can you look that up in a minute, after I beat you to death?
GM: How do you deal with the flames? Because there's a lot of them.
LYSANDER: I say 'ouch' a lot and get on with my life.
GM: I wouldn't do that to you guys. [Force you to be rescued by Edward.]
LYSANDER: Death before Edward!
[While trying to get a combat maneuver in edgewise]
MEGAN: Wait! Wait!
GM: Trust me, there isn't a 'wait' here.
GM [to LYSANDER]: You know how raptors will fly down and grab a rabbit? You're
the rabbit.
ALL: KILL DA WABBIT, KILL DA WABBIT ...
LYSANDER: Oh, thanks!
[As Megan shapeshifts into a creature with Liquid Nitrogen for blood, in order to
freeze the demon]
GM: Bleeding is good for entertainment value. But in combat, it's just not cool.
DAVE: It is in Megan's case.
[Regarding how to track Sand]
GM: You could use the ooga-booga thing.
EDWARD: The ooga-booga thing?
GM: You know -- the Pattern 'Take-me-to-Sand' ooga-booga.
EDWARD: But I'm not in Amber.
GM: No, the normal walkee ooga-booga, not the circling maze ooga-booga.
MARCUS: So, you're like your Mom's heir?
BREANN: No, she's got an heir, and a spare, and a couple more there after the spare.
GM [suessing]: And if they're not there? Oh, beware! That would cause quite a
scare. Amber the Fair, quite Impaired.
GM: Wait! I'll remember her name! It starts with a 'P'.
GM [later]: Vella! The name is Vella!
EDWARD: Ah, the 'P' is silent.
[Upon Pattern-tracking Kethos to the front of Utumno, the Inescapable Prison]
BREANN: Maybe he's... behind it?
GM: [sarcastically suggesting ways to get in and out of Utumno] Well, you
could ask Edward to put a tattoo on the base of your spine.
BREANN: Oh, he wouldn't do anything funny to me.
EDWARD: You mean, it wouldn't be fun to, oh, sever her spinal cord while she lay helpless
before me?
BREANN: Oh, and that would be a good idea. Not.
EDWARD: There are those who would say so. And a lot of them would pay good money.
GM [to BREANN]: Your internal assessment of what you can do has never, never
--
EDWARD: -- ...been reality-based.
[BREANN rifles through her Trump deck, looking for someone who will answer, the GM
looking over her shoulder.]
GM: No, no, no, no, no, you wish, no, no, no, [in unison] no, no, pretty
fucking unlikely, no, no, no ... [short pause] ... no, no, [long pause] That
one's up to you...
[Time passes.]
GM: Edward, you're getting a Trump call.
GM [to EDWARD]: They [the guards] would strip her and put her in a gunny sack.
The only places where she could hide something --
BREANN: Breann isn't shoving anything there.
GM: Yeah, probably ever.
EDWARD: I find a house owned by someone after my own heart.
BREANN: Do you kill him first?
MEGAN: We take turns to see who throws farther.
BREANN: Megan can always go farther.
EDWARD: And does.
"It's practically impossible to escape Utumno once, let alone twice." --
Edward
"Obviously." -- Breann
"Well, it's obvious, but it's not dissuading you." -- Edward
"Welcome to Breann." -- GM
"Shall we bring the whole cart?" -- Breann, eyeing all the weapons the
Edward brought
"Sure, why not? Do you have a marching band, too?" -- Edward
"Hey, I want to do something." -- Megan
"But there are no men here." -- Breann
"No, she wants to do something." -- Quinn
"Brain-rape a zombie? I'll let Theseus do that." -- Megan
"Okay." -- Theseus
"If we stopped arguing, we'd be finished by now." -- Breann
"That's what I'm afraid of." -- Edward
"What's the worst that could happen?" -- Breann, talking about
raiding Utumno
"You could die." -- Megan
"No, we could live a very long time." -- Edward
"I Trump Lanton." -- Edward
"Oh, you psycho bastard." -- The GM
"Ander and Lysander, the Bookends of Doom." -- Lysander
"And I'm the creamy filling." -- Megan
" I have the sword he gave me and Gadget: a heaping helping of hurting." -- Lysander
"So, my man, do you keep up with the local gossip?" -- Edward, to
the Guard
"Yes." -- Guard
"Good answer." -- Edward
"Mental note: Edward's going straight to Hell." -- Jackie
"Edward's not killing them on purpose. It's incidental." -- Dave
"I don't kill anyone needlessly... oh wait." -- Breann
"I was having guests for dinner." -- Lanton
"Were they tasty?" -- Edward
"If it ever comes down to a sorcerous duel, Edward can always use Power Words. On himself." -- GM
"Do I [telepathically] hear anything from the Baron?" -- Megan
"The Baron's psyche sits in a comfortable lounge chair somewhere between Quinn and
Fiona. You don't hear jack." -- GM
"I wanted to ask you this earlier. But then I blew up." -- Megan, to the GM
"Deirdre's losing in a sword fight to the Baron? I can't bel-- Oh, that's right, he's good with those." -- Breann
"We got one of those Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Darth Maul things going on here."
-- GM, referring to Megan and Lysander attacking the Baron
"I got dibs on Obi-Wan." -- Lysander
"The Baron's spells don't weaken. Ever." -- The GM
"What, he's got an Ever-ready up his ass?" -- Lysander
"She is in awe of you man." -- Breann
"HA!" -- Lysander
"I don't think I took my eyes of her for that long." -- Edward, regarding Sand
"They [the Magpies] basically clubbed them [the Vaulkauri] to death."
-- Breann
"They watch the boss, they learn." -- Lysander
"I am supposed to be the brute and everyone else is knocking people out."
-- Lysander
"Well, it's Quinn getting knocked out." -- Breann
"You could kill him by swinging around a dead cat." -- GM
"I become very interested in Quinn's weapon smelting and automated tailor
machines." -- Edward
"Edward's running low on sheep's clothing." -- GM
"Breann's wants to be her Mom, but her Mom was already being her
Mom." -- Quinn
"And doing it better." -- Megan
"I think I should be the Regent." -- Theseus
"That's a good idea." -- Caine
"Now you should be really scared." -- Breann
"I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as though many minds all sighed at once." -- GM
"It's Caine -- he's the slipperiest, slimiest son of a bitch in the
Family..." -- Breann
"Edward looks offended." -- Dave/Edward
"Why'd the unicorn cross the grove...to dig up Caine's body. Dank You I shall be here all da week." -- Helga
"Hormones later...life now." -- Garrett, Julian's youngest Ranger
"You heard she slept with Quinn once." -- GM, regarding Donata
"A desperate woman, to be sure." -- Helga
"Back in good King Obereon's days...." -- Philo
"I am so not looking down there." -- Garrett, talking of Helga
"Is it good shuishy or a bad squishy?" -- Dave
"It's good shuishy, the fact that she knows is bad squishy." -- GM
"It's a naughty squishy." -- Rey
[The bracelet is tossed outside ( of the infirmary)]
"Some people" -- Philo about Shayla
"INDEED." -- Shayla about Philo
"Do you go down with him? You have the opportunity to get strapped." -- The GM, talking about something completely different.
"By the way, she's pregnant." -- GM, regarding Donata
"I kill her." -- Shayla
"What is it about your character and 'nooks & crannies'?" -- Helga, to Angela
"Can I ask the GM a question?" -- Angela
"Sure!" -- GM
"Is there really a difference between 210 and 195 horsepower?" -- Dave
"Even when Edward's in sheep's clothing, it's black." -- Quinn
"Don't practice these spells around *anyone* you like." -- Laura to Breann
"Sounds like a cue for Edward to Trump her." -- Edward
"I quickly try and look like I wasn't trying to rifle through Breann's possessions." -- Edward
"That hurt that hurt alot didn't it?" -- Lysander, regarding Theseus
"Guys come on don't steal my bits." -- Theseus
"We request your leadership against this enemy." -- GM
"WOW are they hard up and what the hell are they asking me for?" --
Lysander
"Ok sure." -- Lysander, responding to a request for aid
"Our mounts are waiting!" -- GM
"NOW?" -- Lysander
"There is a prophecy that there will only ever be one King in Amber."
-- GM
"Your gonna die, clown." -- Breann to Theseus the Regent
"It didn't talk, it waved, lets make that clear." -- Breann
"Can't sleep, Meg will eat me. Can't sleep, Meg will eat me. Can't sleep, Meg will eat me..." -- Theseus
"When *I* make a mistake, I don't even have time to scream." -- Theseus, proudly
"Do you have a coin? I have two bad ideas, and I need to choose between them." -- Breann to the GM
Lady Breann we are happy to receive you." -- Sand's Butler
"Can we go now?" -- Breann to Edward
"Edward searches Sand's house looking for his manhood." -- Edward
"Hope there's no pictures of me in a ball gag in the TrumperNet." -- Edward, discovering the mystical 'bugs' in Sand's villa
"What's your plan?" -- GM, to Lysander, who is facing an immense army of the
undead
"Depends" -- Lysander
"Depends. Good idea." -- Edward
"Boxes and boxes of them." -- Lysander
"I Trump Theseus and offer to him to be Warlord of Amber's Army of the
Undead." -- Megan, psionically linked to said army.
"New York is trumping you." -- GM to Theseus
"'Candygram!'" -- Edward
"How many zombies are there?" -- Log keeper, to GM
"Yeah, *how many zombies are there*?" -- Lysander, to GM
"You tell me what you say, and I'll tell you what comes out the other side of the trump." -- GM
"Theseus, I have gained control of the creatures with inhabit the Baron's undead
troops. I control them, and can command them to help Amber." -- Megan
"SHE IS INSSSSIIIIIDE WITH USSSS. SSSHHHEE WILL NNNNNEVERR ESSSSCAPE." -- GM,
translating to Theseus.
"You've gone nucking futs, haven't you?" -- Theseus to Megan
"He praises your heroism ..." -- GM, translating
"... and your out-of-the-box thinking." -- Edward, helping
"The servants tell you about Sand's various visitors." -- GM
"Oh?" -- Edward
"They were all men, who slept elsewhere." -- GM
"When did Sand start calling her bed 'Elsewhere'?" -- Theseus
"I fail to see why a simple Shadow Storm is cause for much alarm. These things do
occaisionally happen." -- Edward
"We're Amberites. We're visiting Sand's house. A Shadowstorm just HAPPENS to whip up
and vaporize that house. I *guarantee* it wasn't natural." -- Breann
[pause] "It's really hard to argue with that." -- GM