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In the year following the fall of the Empire,
three Padawan's disappeared into a forest
on an unnamed world
in an uncharted sector of the Outer Rim.
They were hunting a Dark Jedi.
And they were never heard from again.

One year later...
Well, we still haven't found 'em.
We pretty much figure they're dead.

The Dark Sith Project

EXT. DEEP SPACE SILENT BLACK.<br> We sweep slowly across an endless tapestry of stars. A SHIP ROARS INTO FRAME, obviously damaged: the N.R.S.S. <i><a href="cross-ship.html">CROSSROAD</a>,</i> a small scout vessel that that is currently under attack from several Sith fighters. As it does so, the camera tracks the ship’s path, revealing that the ship barreling straight at a planet below, apparently attempting an emergency landing.

Cross brings the ship to ground in a forest, hoping that the trees might provide some cover.

Suffice it to say that this... oh, never mind, you and I both know they're screwed.

"I send the droid outside and count the number of laser dots that appear on its torso." -- Doyce

Upon landing, Cross sends her repair droid, DV-8, outside to scout around... Okay fine, she sends it out to draw fire. The droid lives, surprisingly, and is followed out of the hatch by Vai, who is intent on scouting the area. Cross, meanwhile is checking on the status of her ship.

What's this? The ship seems to have at least 30 more days worth of fuel... and the damage to the hull and systems is largely superficial ionizing.

Sure, NOW everything works.

Meanwhile, Vai is busy being disturbed by the complete absence of wildlife anywhere outside. The trees appear healthy, so that's not it, and there's that pleasant drone of incoming fighters in the air, so that can't be...

Uh-oh.

Vai strolls calmly back to the ship and quietly informs his companions that they appear to have visitors arriving... except put in 'races' for 'strolls', 'wildly' for 'calmly', 'loudly' for 'quietly' and... oh forget it.

Vai runs as fast as his very fast legs can carry him back to the ship, and tells everyone in no uncertain terms to get the blazes out. Everyone does this thing that he asks, trying to get out of visual range of the ship before the fighters arrive. They succeed, which means they don't actually SEE the ship get bombed into a hunk of fused metal, they just hear it, and see the smoke. Cross does go back to the scene of the heinous act of barbarism. All she can salvage is a slightly cooked and more-than-a-bit malfunctioning DV-8. She collapses him and puts him in her pack.

The four set out through the woods, following the topographical map Cross had generated from a quick scan of the area before landing, and using her digital compass. Everyone is carrying packs, and just for the heck of it, Cross decides to get out her Vidcap and record this lovely hike in the woods.

Sound familiar?

"If we find any stick figures hanging in the trees, I'm going home." -- Doyce

After travelling for several hours (and arguing about direction several times), the group comes upon a small cabin, apparently inhabited, judging by the state of the building and the smoke coming from the chimney.

'What the heck, let's see who lives in his harmless-looking domicile.'

"As we enter, I check for any child-sized ovens." -- Dave

Inside, the man from Dar and Cross' dream-vision-thing on the Crossroad greets the group and asks them to sit. 'Sit' apparently sounded a bit too much like 'Sith', so everyone declines.

The stranger very-wells and proceeds to new business -- specifically, the enlistment of our heroes into his ranks. You know: the Dark Side, the tattoo-faced guys, the choking-hand-gestures-that-really-choke-you guys. the BAD GUYS.

On the other hand: great dental plan, and a healthy 401k. Plus, you know... ruling the whole universe with an iron fist doesn't always suck.

Cross and Dar takes turns pretending to be interested in hearing the offer. They aren't very good at it. The droid in Cross' pack even knows she's lying, and it's been deactivated or malfunctioning for most of this Episode.

"You guys better run. I've been a Jedi for too long not to do something really stupid in this situation." -- Juli

Vai is a bit appalled at his companions even pretending to be thinking about considering evil, so it's fairly obvious what happens next. Big fight.

The good guys don't win. Dar ends up tossed into the fireplace (yeah, the one with the fire in it), Vai introduces himself to the east wall, and Cross sails out a window. Dar drags himself out of the fire with a quickness, but the fight is now broken up into three parts. The princess and Vai duel the dark lord, but end up doing considerably more damage to each other than to the intended target. As the Princess collapses from a blow that Vai accidentally dealt her, the Dark One vanishes...

...and appears in front of Dar, who is just outside. We don't know exactly what happens in this exchange, but we can make a few guesses by what happens next.

Cross is working on a 'die trying' gizmo that involves booby-trapping her droid with a Thermal Detonator, when Dar walks around the cabin and proceeds to pummel her with a ferocity that was not strictly called for in the contract that he apparently JUST SIGNED IN BLOOD WITH THE DARK LORD OF THE NETHER HELLS IN WHICH DAR WILL INEVITABLY ROAST FOR AN ETERNITY.

Ahem. Right. Moving on.

Calling upon her connection to the Force for a calm that she probably couldn't hope to achieve otherwise, Cross manages to deflect or roll with Dar's attacks. Considering that Dar's hands are his most deadly weapon, even when you COUNT the lightsaber, this is no small feat. After beating back his attacks, Cross announces (trying to fill her voice with the confidence that she could feel only after suddenly finding herself still breathing) that while she might not be able to win this fight, she refuses to lose it, either.

Dar pauses, and for just an instant, it seems as though he is going to repent his dip into the cool water of Evil's Swimming Pool.

So the bad guy breaks his neck.

Dang it.

"I'm not happy about the headless thing, but no, I'm not kidding." -- Juli

Vai is aghast at what has just happened to the Princess (with whom he may or may not have Gotten Jiggy back on the ship). He moves to her to check her pulse.

Unfortunately, she's fine, which Vai finds out when she leaps up, attacks him, and decapitates him, then collapses.

Dang it.

"I could get into what he does to you, but... eewww." -- Rey

Cross finds herself facing the Dark Magumbo Himself. Driven to exhaustion and in shock over her friends' violent deaths, she states simply that all he can do is kill her, so he is powerless over her.

He proceeds to prove her right for the next 6 or seven hours... about the killing part, that is. Much force lightning is seen. It's not pretty.

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