Recent Changes - Search

Main Menu (edit)

Random Average Blog

Wikis in Plain English

Recent Changes Printable View Page History Edit Page

Bedlamb, the Sleeping Madness

The rumour that this terrible curse is transmitted through close contact with sheep is unfortunately dyed-in-the-wool. This is often a community slur against the Gelts, who were the first to be afflicted with the plague. The predatory nature of the Gelts, the kilt-wearing dwarf clans of the mountains on the local weresheep population was portrayed in the short-lived travelling comedy, "On the Lamb," describing the journey to the fabled highlands of the Xtant hills. After the Gelts refused to lend the money necessary to continue the show, and several actors were found mauled by wolves, the show was considered unfit for man or beast or those unfortunate lycanthropes well defined by both. No revival is being planned.

Noted in the chronicles of Doctor U. Bah Ramandram, "Flock Ewe," a transformative inquiry of the psychology of the weresheep and their sympathetic relationship with the golden fleece, Bedlamb starts with an incessant insomnia. This inability to sleep is further categorized by levels of paranoia and obsessive-compulsive disorder, such as the "counting of sheep." This is in contrast to the activity found relaxing in several distinct shepherder populations in that the paranoia invariably suggests that the sheep have developed fangs and long bushy grey-black tails and a sound which parallels that of howling at the moon rather than the lullabyish "Baaaaaah," for which they are known.

Once the body has been overcome by exhaustion, Bedlamb is notable for the repetitious quality of the dreams it has in multiple patients, which is why it is classified as a curse rather than an illness. Many of those so afflicted indicate that they have one of three different dreams:

1) Being a black sheep inside a maze with thousands of identical white sheep all shouting numbers in disturbingly random order. At irregular intervals a bell will ring and all sheep within the maze suddenly begin to flock to some strange icon with glowing green numbers that offer the white sheep some new methodology in calling out numbers. At some point doors will open and either large hungry bears will begin culling the sheep, or bulls will come in and stampede through the maze. The relationship between the math and the animals has yet to come to a conclusive formula.

2) Being shorn of all their hair by a disturbingly familiar barber, and left to pasture under the red eyes of a tyrannical canine who gets hairier as the depilatory routine continues amongst their friends and family. Slowly the canine begins to offer commands of where they are to huddle for warmth and modesty by putting his nose in unsavory places. This continues until they are led to a pool of mint jelly. The afflicted from the southern continents often have a variation where the jelly is made of currants, instead.

3) Acting as a shepherd for a wandering lamb, they are surrounded by salivating hounds and unable to cry out for assistance.

The actual transmission of the curse is under investigation, but it does seem to affect those who work in bureaucratic positions more than those in the adventuring arts or volunteers of all stripes. Divine intervention has been unsuccessful in most cases except to turn the afflicted into the sheep of their dreams.

Treatment for Bedlamb is still in its rudimentary stages, but it appears the sound of shears being opened and closed will stimulate the appropriate metranomic functions to allow for restful sleep.

< Beaker | Lexicon ABC | Bodea-Lotnikk >

Edit Page - Page History - Printable View - Recent Changes - Search
Page last modified on October 14, 2008, at 01:30 PM by DoyceTesterman

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.