The following seems to be actual literature from the League of Professionals on its requirements for membership. This leaflet was found on the recently-deceased person of Elias Smalls, a resident of Bodea-Lotnikk, cause of death undetermined.

Welcome to the League of Professionals! Ours is an ancient order, but it is only in recent years that we have found our true calling, a fact borne out by the exponential growth of our membership. To understand why we do what we do now, it is essential that we have a firm grasp on the past, and the reason the League began. To this end, all new recruits to the League are required to complete a course of study in the following areas:

History: of Exerprad and our surrounding continental neighbors, particularly Bodea-Lotnikk and the Grand Duchy of Kroon as a whole, where our work often finds us. Those that do not recall the past are doomed to repeat it. We will also spend some time on the history of the League, from our early days as a guild of professionals in all trained skills, to our current more focused expertise.

Science: and its cousin, Alchemy. It is only with knowledge of the sciences that we can prepare the solutions, potions, and other such requirements of our work. Some would argue that a firm grounding in scientific principle may be superseded by a heavy purse, but here at the League, we choose to put the emphasis on our own workings, and not others’. We believe it doing it ourselves. And our customers pay handily for that privilege.

Business: it is essential for a Professional to understand the workings of a business, to recognize currency in all its forms – domestic, international, and informational. As it is against League policy to maintain a written log of accounts, our members are trained in mental accounting. Any member found with written documentation of this course will be terminated.

Language Arts: the ability to understand the words not said, whispered, or otherwise unintelligible to others is a hallmark of the League. Our members undertake a grueling course of study in language, dialect, and movement. After a personal hiatus, popular teacher Thaddeus K. Vaughn? will once again be leading a course on AIG, or alcoholic informational gathering, a prerequisite to your later level courses in Tongue-Holding and Death Before Dishonor.

Social Studies: to be able to look at a man across a room and size him up accurately, to know which hand someone will grab a weapon with, and which hostage will be the first to faint – these are the trademarks of a student of the social sciences. Courses in this area include extensive fieldwork.

And, of course, The Profession itself. You’ll study with our finest professionals one on one and in groups. If circumstances permit, larger groups may take place in war exercises. The final examination in this course is particularly final. No do-overs will be accepted.

Please note: the failure of any student to complete his or her coursework satisfactorily will result in immediate termination.

We’re grateful you’ve chosen to join the League. If you’ve made it this far, we can only stress your decision to continue will change your life – and that, no doubt, of many others.

The League of Professionals -- Nessuno esce da qui vivo

• Thaddeus K. Vaughn?

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