Recent Changes - Search

Main Menu (edit)

Random Average Blog

Wikis in Plain English

Recent Changes Printable View Page History Edit Page

An airship of immense proportions, the Humorless was once the possession of the Alchemist-Errant Grayson Dawes. She travelled with him on many adventures, not the least of which involved exploring the jagged1 edges of the Xtant Mountains.

The airship was built in a.p. 1561 by an unprecedented alliance of Gelts, and an Uvulaic fashion house, the House of Woven Reeds. The Gelts and Gnoxics provided the dirigible's frame, engines, and various mechanisms and weapons, and the House of Woven Reeds provided the glass silk balloon, interior decoration, and dancing girls.

Originally intended as a flagship for the Bodea-Lotnikk Air Navy, Grayson Dawes won the ship from the current Duke in a game of chance. After extensive modifications, including a wet bar, gaming parlor, and dozens of heavily-modified canopy beds, the ship embarked on many adventures (refer to the Abbreviated History of Grayson Dawes for more information).

At Grayson Dawes' presumed death at the hands of his on-again, off-again Dukes, the Humorless fell into disrepair, and the entertainers, Beakers, and Gnoxic external-hull-repairists dispersed into retirement or other, less reputable occupations. The ship herself spent its moldering years at Holmes' Airship Retrofittery. (The original owner, A.R. Holmes, committed suicide at the loss of income represented by the end of the ship's adventures.)

The ship has been rescued from the salvage heap recently by Sir Charles Fishsex, the Duke's cousin, who has given new life to the Humorless as a kind of traveling show in which the players re-enact the great adventures of Grayson Dawes and his crew (prices vary based on seating and other amenities). Performers display their skills in acrobatics, marksmanship, seduction, and semantics and hold classes in all sorts of topics, from beginning beaksmanship to advanced interdimensional philology.

Many of the players have been collected from the former ranks of the original Humorless crew and knew Grayson Dawes personally. The stories passed along by the crew vary in many significant details and are generally not considered reliable; however, all agree that the actor who plays the role of Grayson Dawes has a passing similarity to the great man himself, but those who knew Grayson Dawes best agree that Owne Sweeny is both less intelligent, more modest, and, indeed, saner than the man he represents. While the first might be feigned, the last two are beyond the capability of the genius who was known as Grayson Dawes.

Of the ship itself:

  • While the main balloon remains constant, the rest of the ship is in flux based on the requirements and whims of its crew. The main balloon, however, is large enough to require a footprint of 4500 hectiles in order to land.
  • The inscription over the main porthole to the Humorless has been changed. It once read, All women are beautiful once the statues have all been smashed. But it now reads, No greater arrogance than to believe oneself alone. Whether this was changed before or after Grayson Dawes' death is unknown, and none of the crew will admit to knowing.
  • A baker's dozen of smaller, foot-powered "zeppelettes" may be deployed, and are often seen following the larger airship like ducklings in a pond.
  • The former collection of erotic art has been, for the most part, dispersed across the continent among wealthy collectors; however, Sir Fishsex has been reportedly attempting to beg or borrow them back for the ship. Several of the works have disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

1Whose borders are so jagged as to fractally approach closet dimensions in areas.

< Hugh Gabilshatush | Lexicon GHI | Icky Effect >

Edit Page - Page History - Printable View - Recent Changes - Search
Page last modified on October 29, 2008, at 12:27 PM by DoyceTesterman

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.