I’m really smart about being Stupid

This weekend, I play-tested Rey’s Pulp Adventures module that we’re debuting at Tacticon next month. Good stuff.
I was playing Tony Vincetti, “Professional Driver” (read: New York cabbie). Tony’s quick on his feet, and quite personable when you get to know him, but in the words of one of the other players at the table “not the sharpest knife in the drawer.” Here’s a sample:
Interpol agent: “The Doctor has escaped a prison for the criminally insane in Rouen.”
Tony: “Well Jeez, put him in a place that ain’t fallin’ down, for starters.”
On encountering french food:
Tony: “What’s this?”
French PC: “Quiche.”
Tony: “Excuse me?”
French PC: “Quiche.”
Tony: “Hey, that reminds me of somethin’ I heard about you French girls, c’mere a second…”
French PC: “No no, eet is Quiche.”
Tony: “Oh, that’s what you call eatin’. You french guys gotta different word for everything.”
Talking to French guard
Tony: “You like doing guard work? My cousin does that and he likes it.”
Guard: “Eet is veree good.”
Tony: “You guys get holidays off, like the Fourth of July?”
Guard: “No, we do not celebrate the Fourth of July.”
Tony: “… what?”
Guard: “We do not celebrate the Fourth of July. [Short pause, then he adds, trying to be helpful.] We celebrate the Fourteenth of July instead.”
Tony: “[thinking] Oh, sure, cuz of the international date line. That makes sense.”

One comment

  1. Re-reading these, I suddently realized that I’m channeling Archie Bunker as a young, suave-but-uneducated Italian. Love it.

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