It stands for Total Party Kill.
I’ve never perpetrated such a thing on any of my tables.
Until Saturday.
Long story short: in a lighthouse, someone (okay, it was Rey) cast a wall of fire in a room containing six 250-gallon copper tuns full of lamp oil.
In the next room were sixty-five five gallon clay jars full of more oil.
I’d mentioned that they were passing through rooms full of buckets of sand, and that the sand was there to control fires, because of the risk involved in having all the lamp oil….
…then I mentioned the big copper casks. The fact that they were full of oil was not specifically stated, but no one at the table claimed that the clues hadn’t been there. Mostly, there was a lot of rueful head-shaking.
It was a playtest, so it didn’t ‘count’, but it was still sort of fun.
Me: “You take… as near as I can figure… you take about 500d6 fire, plus the same amount of explosion damage.”
Them: “Wow.”
Me: “Then the lighthouse falls on you.”
~Another funny bit.~
Me: So… four months later, you wake up in the nearby village…
Rey: …where we’ve just landed.


  1. LOL – well, it was funny… Honestly, when you mentioned sand, my first though (coming from the East Coast – heavy on the coast) was “Well, we’re in a lighthouse… of course there’s sand…”
    Oh well.. At least I wasn’t responsible for the fire ūüėČ

  2. As a precaution, I’ve hidden all the matches and everything flammable in the house. The kid, no worries. Rey, not so sure, anymore.

  3. Corrected transcript:
    DOYCE: So…four months later, you wake up in the nearby village…
    REY: …where we’ve just landed.
    **laughing and rueful head-shaking**
    **long pause**
    REY: But we got the ogres, right?

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