The Prince of Hams, known to his subjects simply as “the Prince” and never ever ever “ole Hammy” if you value your life, runs Bodea-Lotnikk’s crime scene. Although, if you were unfortunate enough to ask him what he does to his face, he’d most likely tell you he merely owns a few performance venues for the Kimbuki Bassoon – which, while true, only hints at the nefarious works he is engaged in.

Yes, he own several venues in which talented and beautiful artists engage audiences with thrilling performances on the Bassoon – those same artists will, afterwards, and for a price, also perform many of the same melodious songs without their famed instrument.

But that merely hints at the Prince’s operation. It is said he runs the book on the Unlikely Tower, controls the distribution of Girasol and Faerie Dust within the bounds of Kroon, and is the majority shareholder in the Barnacle East Isthmus Trading Company, somehow having managed to acquire (it is by no means clear how) a controlling interest from the Fengaks.

Again, though, this merely scratches the surface (although, to be fair, it is a rather painful scratch, almost a cut, but in any case, rather agonizing). Close inspection of the Prince’s activities also indicates part-ownership of a used boat dealership in Dorniala run by a man named Big Jammy, membership in the Misanthropic Weavers Union, a side business as a producer of one of the continent’s most popular traveling entertainments, and an unmatched collection of Wander Rings, held in a series of closet dimensions guarded by nekrotoads. His employment of a vast numbers of zombeys and, in fact, his vacation homes in Alumzembobway and Un-Littlesmithick have added thousands if not millions of dollars to the coffers of the Ilerian Taxation Board, a payment he is said to make gleefully, as if in exchange for something else he wants. There are rumors, of course, there always are, that the Prince is a member of Senior Management, but there is no proof to this accusation, and no one living today who is willing to go on record about the fact.

All that being said, the current Prince (and yes, it does seem to be a title that can be passed down to others, although whether it is hereditary or bequeathed by virtue of deeds is unknown) is a man seemingly without temper, who would rather find a way to negotiate with a debtor for monies due than take out his payment in more mercenary ways. He is known as a man of conscience, who employs in his household several beakers who might otherwise have fallen destitute after lab accidents rendered them unfit for other work. He is also a man of science, contributing deeply to the explorations of the Humorless, and sponsoring the studies of a number of alchemists. And finally, he is a man of great heart and bountiful enthusiasm for his work, as any who come in contact with him would happily report.

Category People

< Porili, Lyr | Lexicon PQRS | Profanity Drive >