Brotha, I feel your pain

this thread:

There was once a time, not so long ago, when I was enjoying the outside, seeing friends, going to parks. Then one day , somebody posted a link to X-com. Now the sunny days are gone, for I shall never leave my apartment again.


Update: another keeper from this thread:

I change people’s names a lot — which induced the legend of PFC Andreas Suck (promoted posthumously to Sergeant). Pfc. Suck had his named changed by the X-Com foundation during admissions testing so that his commanding officer could easily identify him as “Not one of the guys that we were thinking of having on the payroll, long-term.”
Pfc. Suck’s accuracy with any kind of ranged weapon was ludicrously bad, so Pfc. Suck had a backpack full of explosives, on the theory that maybe he could hit something with them, or at least, y’know, kinda get close. Pfc. Suck ran into a big room just jam-packed with aliens of the worst kind, who shot him with enough damage to probably overkill him about twenty-five times. This detonated his grenades. The mission promptly ended with no losses except for Pfc. Suck.
Private Andreas Suck’s picture was put onto the X-Com HQ walls as the example of a brave, if horribly untalented, man who gave his everything for his species. Pfc’s Loser, Ass, and Fuckwit were instructed to keep his example in mind during the coming conflict.