Coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doin’ just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
— The Killers, Mister Brightside
Paragon City, Brickstown (AP) Officials are, reportedly, baffled at the recent successful Ziggurat escape affected by criminals Torrance and Matthew Bright, a.k.a Lady Optimism and Mister Brightside.
“It’s not that they couldn’t have escaped — they’re both really smart folks,” commented one anonymous guard. “But that’s just it — being a criminal mastermind isn’t enough — to get out of the Zig, you need connections on the outside, and these two didn’t have any. They’ve done too many bad things for a hero to help them, and most of the guys in the Rogue Isles… even inside the Zig think they’re really… annoying.”
“Hell yeah,” a passing prisoner added, “I was going to break out that night too, but when I heard those two were getting out, I figured I’d stay. A guy needs a break more than a break-out, y’know?”
Notorious in Paragon City for their upbeat attitude, steadfast smiles, and constantly climbing bodycount, the two Ph.D criminals may have failed to make many friends with Arachnos, but their escape in night proves that someone wanted them free and unleashing their own personal brand of bright-eyed mayhem.
“It’s been really, really super staying here,” reads the perfectly handwritten note on Torrance Bright’s cot. “Thanks SO MUCH for having us, and remember what I suggested about the new window treatments and some wake-up yoga for Cell Block E. E is for Exercise!
– <3, Torrie."
It’s simply difficult to imagine who.
Lady Optimism and Mister Brightside: the kind of villainy that Virtue shard deserves. Go team!